- She/He suffers with her/his nerves, always has.
- Well of course he/she has always been highly strung
- Makes mountains out of molehills it’s only the supermarket, everyone goes
- It’s just silly, anyone can get on a bus or train
Waking up to a new day, stomach churning, feeling on edge, trembling, trying hard to rationalize and be logical, you hear yourself thinking something like “I’m at home, I’m safe here, there is nothing for me to be feeling like this for, it’s not like I am doing something I might find a challenge like a trip to the dentist”
“I couldn’t sleep last night, too busy being anxious about feeling like this today, all day again, it is so exhausting”
I”ve got a dinner party to go to tomorrow night and I’m dreading it, no idea why, it’s only six couples and we are all good friends”
“It felt like a good idea and something to look forward too when I accepted the invitation”
Often, when we accept an invitation it is weeks even months before the event, also we may be at home, relaxed and feet up watching tv with our housemates when the invite is made. This is usually where we feel emotionally safe and as relaxed as we can be.
Then, the event starts to get closer and our concerns start to creep in and our anxiety starts to build up, some examples of what we might be experiencing
“What shall I wear?” Ugh just the thought of the comparing of dresses and how they look..
“I don’t want to drink alcohol and I know if I don’t they will put me on the spot and want to know why and then try to change my mind”
“I haven’t got anything of interest to say, I haven’t done anything or been anywhere”
“I’m just too tired, I need to relax and get an early night”
Then we might dread having to let people know we are not going to be going after all, what will they think of us? Unreliable? Always changing our minds? Etc etc the fear of judgements can snowball, the list feeling never ending.
The train of thought…thinking it would be easier to just go followed fairly quickly by no I just can’t!
Avoidance described here is a very common effect of anxiety and gives relief in the short term
When our anxiety is raised it is easy to think everyone knows and is judging us even if they are only thinking it and not saying it. We can feel so on edge and overwhelmed it feels impossible to imagine no-one knows. Of course if we decide everyone knows then, yes you’ve guessed it, it tends to make us more anxious and more likely to be clumsy in the office or find difficulty in conveying what it is that we want to say. Anyone we previously experienced as difficult to communicate with becomes even more challenging in our state of elevated anxiety.
Heightened anxiety can mean we find even the simplest of tasks either impossible or much more difficult and time consuming than we would usually. We are more likely to make mistakes, to overlook details we would normally see, to turn left instead of right, to forget to do something we do every day, to react in ways we normally wouldn’t and be experienced as abrupt or offhand.
Some common causes of elevated anxiety which are developing:
- Fear of losing control
- Fear of a serious health condition
- Fear of lots of people
- Feeling detached from the world around you
- Feeling you may faint or vomit
- Fear of being stuck somewhere maybe on a bus or train, or in a lift
- Fear of being laughed at
- Fear of not knowing what to say
- Fear of letting someone down
Anxiety can be very debilitating, Anxiety can also be relatively easy to reduce or lose altogether.
If you would like to know more or perhaps have an appointment with us to discuss please contact us.